What do you want?
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Haven't Written In a While... Here You Go
My heart is like a chunk of silly putty. God keeps attaching it, or I do, to people. Slowly, or quickly, (as case may be) I get drawn out, pulled into friendship with that person. Then, snap! God breaks the bond. It hurts so bad. I don't feel like I'm ever going to feel whole unless I become a hermit. (THAT would probably lead to insanity). It doesn't make any sense to me. But, I can't see the whole picture. Maybe that piece of me was what someone needed at that time. Maybe my whole life is destined to consist of leaving shards of my heart in other people but never feeling like I'm getting anything back. But maybe that, in some awful-seeming way, is the path for God to make the biggest impact through me. The only question is, what do I really want? Deep relationships with humankind for the short term or an everlasting relationship with God that does more for God's Kingdom and His people?
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I’ve always found that people come into our lives for a reason and even the loss of that relationship can be a good thing. The pain and that the doubt you feel over what happened can be used as tools to help better define the person you want to become. No relationship is ever temporary because the people we’ve met, whether that time last for years or brief moments, leave a lasting impression on our lives, changing us from the person we were before we knew them. Our time with them is God’s gift to us. Even if it doesn’t feel that way now, know that the shards that you left in their heart are beautiful, and even if it doesn’t feel that way now they will come to treasure them in the fullness of time. What you get back are the memories, the time you spent together and all it meant. Laughing, crying, being completely insane in the best way and loving every minute of it. They gave you a part of themselves, a part of their heart, a part of their love, something of them to keep with you that will last forever.
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